How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, by Julie Lythcott-Haims
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How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, by Julie Lythcott-Haims
Download Ebook PDF How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, by Julie Lythcott-Haims
A provocative manifesto that exposes the harms of helicopter parenting and sets forth an alternate philosophy for raising preteens and teens to self-sufficient young adulthood.
In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research; on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers; and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large. While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Lythcott-Haims offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.
Relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of 20-somethings - and of special value to parents of teens - this audiobook is a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure that the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence.
How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, by Julie Lythcott-Haims- Amazon Sales Rank: #1773 in Audible
- Published on: 2015-09-10
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 755 minutes
Where to Download How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, by Julie Lythcott-Haims
Most helpful customer reviews
119 of 127 people found the following review helpful. Better at discussing causes than outlining cures By B. Case I’ve worked around college-aged kids my entire career. Like the author, I’ve increasingly become concerned about a large population of kids who appear to lack the ability to mature into full-fledged adults. I’ve assumed the cause was the growing trend of overprotective parenting (what many call helicopter parenting), but other than short articles in newspapers and magazines, I never taken the time to read anything more substantial. I hoped this book would provide me with that opportunity and it did…very nicely! Lythcott-Haims’ book is an excellent overview of the problem and a thoughtful collection of ideas designed to remedy the situation.The book crosses genres: it’s both an in-depth research-journalism treatment of the problem, as well as a how-to guidebook outlining specific ways to help resolve it.The first third of the book covers the problem from all angles: historical, sociological, cultural, psychological, and economic. Although there are extensive bibliographical notes at the end, the book covers these concepts in a style that demonstrates good journalism more than in-depth academic research. Well-educated readers will find the book easy to read, entertaining, and compelling. But it’s important to note that Lythcott-Haims is not a sociologist, nor is her book meant to be an academic treatise. She should probably be considered a concerned academic administrator who saw a significant problem in the college-aged population she served and it worried her enough (both as an administrator and as a recent parent) to investigate it further on her own and write a book about it.The book is definitely aimed at well-educated and affluent parents. As you will learn in the book (and I certainly do not have the time here to explain it further), helicopter parenting is a phenomenon that primarily effects the high-end of the socioeconomic ladder.In the first third, she outlines the problem, focusing both on the various cultural and sociological phenomena that have caused it, as well as the societal, economic, and psychological damage that it is causing. It is this first section that interested me the most. In it, the author gathers a great deal of evidence to support her ideas. These trends have been playing out slowly in virtually every facet of life in America over the last three decades, pushing us toward this new style of parenting. What I found fascinating about her analysis is that this is almost exclusively an American phenomenon. It is not happening in other highly civilized Western-style cultures. The problem is ours and the damage (to our children and society at large) is our own. The author makes a strong case for this and backs it up with extensive bibliographical notes and interviews.She approaches evidence more like a lawyer than an academic. She relies heavily on interviews with experts. Perhaps she does it this way because she is a lawyer. After graduating from Stanford, she earned a law degree at Harvard and practiced corporate law. Then she left her law career to return to Stanford where she served in various administrative positions including Dean (and later Associate Vice Provost) of Freshmen and Undergraduate Advising. It was in that position where she became alarmed about the growing number of Stanford freshmen who appeared incapable of maturing into adulthood. It is also at that time that she became a parent herself and felt the intense pressure to conform to helicopter-style parenting.In the last two-thirds of the book, the author discusses steps that parents can take to raise a child who should have no difficulty mastering adulthood when the time comes. This is the “how-to” sections of the book. The course that is outlined is brave, reasonable, and creative; however, parenting outside the cultural norm will always be an enormous struggle.[As a side note, it is interesting to know that in June of 2012, Lythcott-Haims left Stanford to enroll in a master of fine arts program. Her goal was to prepare herself for a new career in writing. This is her first book since she switched gears to become a writer.]
56 of 58 people found the following review helpful. A "modern" way to help your kids BE. By Wendydiver I was born in the '40's, raised my kids in the '60's,'70's and '80's and now have grandchildren in their teens. Seeing the different parenting approaches over the years has given me the rear view mirror I wish I had while raising my children. Of course we all wish "we knew then what we know now." Learning through experience is the best way humans learn. Julie Lythcott-Haims makes this very important point. If we don't let our children learn by letting them experience the tribulations of life we are not doing our job, that is to prepare our children to become adults. Treating children as though they are puppets is not the answer. We do not have to pull the strings. At every age and every stage parents need to let go a little more so their kids, when the time comes will stand strong and be ready for each challenge they face.I read the book because I love kids and am always interested in learning new ways to interact with them. Parents and grandparents take heed....nothing is guaranteed but this book gives you a way to not only ease up on your kids but also ease up on yourselves.
57 of 60 people found the following review helpful. but it turned out to be one of the best books that I've read in a while By Nerdlicious I'd heard a lot about this book and picked it up–not necessarily knowing what exactly to expect, but it turned out to be one of the best books that I've read in a while! It's smart, well-researched, very readable, and full of comforting and practical advice for parents who are grappling with trying to find the right balance between being supportive without being overly controlling.As a former teacher and a resident in one of the most competitive school districts in the country, I've seen first-hand the damage that overparenting and "helicopter parenting" can do, and Julie Lythcott-Haims' book provides a compelling, workable, un-preachy, and thoughtful approach to how to avoid this. In the crazy, pressure-cooker mix of raising kids, it's also incredibly comforting to have an alternative voice in the mix, one that is, at the same time, both pro-parent and pro-kid. I'm recommending it to my parent and teacher friends, as I think it's applicable to both.
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