I Didn't Know What to Say: Being a Better Friend to Those Who Experience Loss, by David Knapp
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I Didn't Know What to Say: Being a Better Friend to Those Who Experience Loss, by David Knapp
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Being A Better Friend to Those Experiencing Loss. Knapp draws on his own experience of losing both his first and second wife to cancer to provide insight into some of the unhelpful responses we often make, and presents a repertoire of ideas on how to be a genuine friend and helper to a grieving person. Various chapters in the book deal with different kinds of losses, including the trauma of losing a spouse or child, divorce, loss of pets, and other losses that we sometimes fail to recognize need to be grieved over if healing is to occur. A veteran teacher, Knapp supplements his chapters with practical lists of responses that may be helpful at different points in the grieving process. His book is a wonderful tool for preparing ourselves for the inevitable human experience of dealing with other's grief, or our own. A student of life and processes, David Knapp "leans into" the situation at hand. Whether raising four children, or blending a family with eight teenagers, running a small business or teaching fresh-faced college students, he knows how to communicate effectively. He does not write from theory, but from experience and study.
I Didn't Know What to Say: Being a Better Friend to Those Who Experience Loss, by David Knapp- Amazon Sales Rank: #1549518 in Books
- Published on: 2015-09-22
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .54" w x 6.00" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 236 pages
Where to Download I Didn't Know What to Say: Being a Better Friend to Those Who Experience Loss, by David Knapp
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful. An important and practical book for everyone By Kathy Gibbens What an important book! There are many books written for the griever, but few written for the friends of the griever. I think we can all relate to the feeling of wanting to be a help and a comfort when our loved ones hurt, but not knowing what to say or how to say it. This book clears that all up and does so in very practical ways. I especially love the chapter that gives a timeline for helping the person who is experiencing loss and I know I’ll be referring to it often.You should know that David is my Dad. Yes, that means I’m very proud of him! But it also means I can give you a peek behind the curtains to the man that he is. I have watched him walk through seasons of deep grief and have the courage to face all that it brings. Because he was so open to going through the process, he was able to learn the lessons and can share them with us in such a gracious manner.Get this book if you have a friend going through a loss of some sort! But even if you tuck it away on your bookshelf for a time, you’ll be so glad to have it when life happens to someone you love, as life has a way of doing.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Understanding Grief & How To Be a Better Friend During Loss By April McCallum "Loss is indeed a part of our human existence. Helping each other through these normal times increases our bonds to each other and fulfills a purpose for us being in each other’s lives". -David KnappDeath is the opposite of life. And for those who have experienced loss, grieving can feel dark, lonely, scary, confusing and/or almost unbearable. For those grieving, life almost seems suspended, but the reality is, life goes on regardless of our loss. As fellow humans looking on, we WANT to communicate, but words seem impotent and so often we simply don't know what to say, hence, the title of David Knapp's book: "I Didn't Know What To Say: Being A Better Friend to Those Who Experience Loss".The author speaks candidly about his firsthand experience with death and dying by sharing his personal heartache, struggles and lessons learned in the process. He discusses how fear and isolation often go together in the grieving process. The griever often feels fear while those around them often isolate them until they "get over it". He gives insights about the multi-layered nature of grief and helps readers understand how they can better fit into the process of helping others through those various layers. He discusses the subjects of avoidance and stuffing, hope and disappointment, sadness and sorrow, coming to grips with permanent separation, loss, and learning to live with a new identity.Though the author shares his story about grieving the loss of two wives after illness, I appreciate how he also incorporates other forms of death, dying, and loss. These may include grief over abandonment from an adoption, separation through abortion, the loss of children and friends through illness, a miscarriage, or even the loss of a pet, job or a dream. He also touches on the differences between genders, cultures and religions to help readers understand differing perspectives and worldviews about death and dying.In each chapter you'll find sections with practical helps such as, "Point to Ponder" and "What To Say" or "What Not To Say" to someone during the grieving process, along with other practical advice on overcoming barriers that affect healthy mourning.In the end, the author shares how his personal roots of faith helped ground and guide him through the inevitable reality of grief, permanence of loss and discovering a "new normal".No one can be completely prepared for loss and grief, but through the author's sharing of his very personal journey and lessons learned, readers can become more equipped to be a better friend to those who are grieving. This book is practical and helpful for caregivers, friends or family of those experiencing some form of grief or loss, and those in a position to lead or counsel others.(Note: I was provided an Advanced Reader Copy of this book for review purposes. I was not required to write a positive review, and these opinions are my own).
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Actually Making Matters Better In a Bereavement Situation By J. Stephen Lanning I don't know if it is proper to 'rate' a book on bereavement with 'stars', especially when it may deal with the loss of a spouse as the author has experienced. We've all been there before--trying to console a person on their loss. It makes it many times as hard the more familiar we are with the person experiencing the loss. We just feel clumsy.The thing that makes this book so helpful is that it applies to loss--of divorce, children and even pets--so thoroughly. I would call it a guide book in the way that it is so broad and thorough. The author does face grieving squarely. I know that I've been so uncomfortable seeing good friends suffer in the middle of a funeral home--or their living room--and just, selfishly, want to find any excuse to leave.But this work is different. It not only allows one to squarely face talking about another's loss, it gives you step-by-step 'tools' to actually minister to the person. (And yes, I've seen a person seemingly more broken up by the loss of a pet than with the loss of a person. This book helps here, too.)My own issue right now is how to give this book as gifts. But it is a sorely needed topic that begs to be covered EXACTLY akin to the way the author covers it. Sure, in 200+ pages, the experienced reader can possibly see how you may have handled a situation differently. But here, in one volume, is a book that should be in every home. It is said that the only two things we face for certain are death and taxes. This handles the former subject quite well as a very needed voice in an uncertain world.
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